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Hear from the Blondes Again

August 11th 2008 01:10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day to relax and rest.'


'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.

'Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Blondes With Hammers...

Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'

Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may have to think about this one....
The blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest!'
'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos.

She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos...it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'

'Wow', said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked her.

'Why, that's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied.

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied, (are you ready for this?).........'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
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Are you ready for holographic TV?

August 6th 2008 09:28

It seems to be getting nearer to reality for us. Still, some scientific people say that you will see it in theme parks long before it is available for your living room at home.

Imagine real 3D images, not the two dimensional views that we now get. The technical possibilities are already being used in medical settings. Consider the imaging that is done in order to see all sides of a bodily organ such as the brain. They have been doing that for a few years now.


Can you imagine seeing a sporting event from every angle? No doubt, it will influence how the referees make the calls in a baseball game when they can replay the play and view it from many angles.

The hardest part of the situation is the projection process. You can read more about this new holographic television at this site.

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A horse OR a pony??

August 5th 2008 05:07
Do you know the difference?
Although the rules are somewhat nebulous at times, the legal difference between horses and ponies is the size. There are exceptions, but for our purposes, let's use the size as the differing element.



A horse would measure more than 14.2 hands from hoof to the top of the withers. {See the photo)

How much is a hand? It is the average width of a human hand and is considered to be four inches across. Thus, 14.2 hands would be 14.2 times 4 inches. That comes to 56.8 inches. Instead of measuring by placing a hand at the hoof and then another hand above that one and another hand above that one, there are measuring sticks now for measuring horses.

A pony is a full-grown animal measuring 14.2 hands or less. It is not a baby horse. A baby horse is a foal. A male baby horse is a colt. Horses and ponies both use the terms 'foal' and 'colt' when discussion involves their offspring. There are many varieties of ponies, just as there are many varieties (or sub-species) of horses.

Shetland pony


In a manner of speaking, a 'cousin' of horses and ponies is the donkey.
Donkey
Not a horse or pony=a donkey


How did we get a ZORSE?
A Zorse
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It Finally Happened

August 3rd 2008 12:33
Well, it finally happened ..!


I've sent sooooooo many e-mails that my mouse overheated.

Check it out for yourself.

This is what happens when you overuse your mouse:
Click HERE
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Little Man

July 31st 2008 04:35
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got
out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one of them are
you?'

And then the fight started... .
Not
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Signs of the Times

July 29th 2008 01:54
No Extra Comments Needed Here

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Humor from Famous People

July 28th 2008 01:02

"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' " -- Paula Poundstone

[ Click here to read more ]
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Some Actual Hospital Chart Entries

July 24th 2008 01:01
Perhaps doctors are overworked.

(Actual writings from hospital charts)

[ Click here to read more ]
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Things That Really Happened

July 22nd 2008 23:39

IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, it's open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

[ Click here to read more ]
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Positive Gestures

July 17th 2008 07:05
Curtsey
When you meet royalty such as the Queen, a lady should curtsy to show deference.
Kowtow
To show the utmost of respect, an attempt to kowtow leaves no doubt as to your degree of respect.
Wai
In several Asian countries, the Wai is used to show deference to a person or place.
[ Click here to read more ]
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