Roger HarrisCan People Change?
September 28th 2006 16:24
My gut reaction to that is to say “NO!”.
Ok, maybe that’s too strong.
Maybe?
Some of the time?
I think people can change their day to day habits and behaviors if they really want to. People quit smoking. People start exercising. Some people even learn to remember things like birthday and anniversaries… or at least learn how to remind themselves of these things.
But - I think during periods of stress many people will often revert back to their basic nature. They may not do exactly the same things, but similar.
Don’t recovered drug addicts still refer to themselves as addicts even when they haven’t had a drug in years?
Here are some things to think about.
- Maybe before you get in a committed relationship with someone it might good to know how they deal with times of stress. ( Have they walked out of every job that pissed them off? Have you seen them lie to close friends and family avoid uncomfortable situations? )
- You can’t change anyone. You get the whole package, the good and the bad. Can you take that?
I need to change my words when I describe the last few years. I KNOW I’ve told people my divorce and raising a new born and 2 year old changed me…. but maybe it didn’t actually change me. It REVEALED me. yeah, that’s more like it. It revealed what’s always been there. I'm more myself now, than I was for a few years.
Ok, maybe that’s too strong.
Maybe?
Some of the time?
I think people can change their day to day habits and behaviors if they really want to. People quit smoking. People start exercising. Some people even learn to remember things like birthday and anniversaries… or at least learn how to remind themselves of these things.
But - I think during periods of stress many people will often revert back to their basic nature. They may not do exactly the same things, but similar.
Don’t recovered drug addicts still refer to themselves as addicts even when they haven’t had a drug in years?
Here are some things to think about.
- Maybe before you get in a committed relationship with someone it might good to know how they deal with times of stress. ( Have they walked out of every job that pissed them off? Have you seen them lie to close friends and family avoid uncomfortable situations? )
- You can’t change anyone. You get the whole package, the good and the bad. Can you take that?
I need to change my words when I describe the last few years. I KNOW I’ve told people my divorce and raising a new born and 2 year old changed me…. but maybe it didn’t actually change me. It REVEALED me. yeah, that’s more like it. It revealed what’s always been there. I'm more myself now, than I was for a few years.
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