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Show Me Don't Tell Me - by Roger Harris

 

Some Actual Hospital Chart Entries

July 24th 2008 01:01
Perhaps doctors are overworked.

(Actual writings from hospital charts)
>>
>> 1. The patient refused autopsy.
>>
>> 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
>>
>> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another

>> hospital.
>>
>> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
>> husband states she was very
>> hot in bed last night.
>>
>> 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
> side for over a year.
>>
>> 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the
>> third day it disappeared.
>>
>> 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.
>> She also appears to be depressed.
>>
>> 8 The patient has been depressed since she began
>> seeing me in 1993.
>>
>> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
>>
>> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,
>> mentally alert but forgetful.
>>
>> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia
>> for lunch.
>>
>> 12. She is numb from her toes down.
>>
>> 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent
>> home.
>>
>> 14. The skin was moist and dry.
>>

>> 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
>>
>> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
>>
>> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size
>> thyroid.
>>
>> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for
>> most of her life, until she got a divorce.
>>
>> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under
>> our car for physical therapy.
>>
>> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light
>> and accommodation.
>>
>> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is
>> circus sized.
>>
>> 22 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
>>
>> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
>>
>> 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
>>
>> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
>> abnormalities.
65
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Comments
1 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by TimmyH

July 24th 2008 14:42
Bahahah still under our car...

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