Roger HarrisTurning Point
September 22nd 2006 01:15
“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time”
-Good Riddance by Green Day
I don’t know anyone who gets married expecting to get divorced. I think everyone thinks they are marrying THE ONE. Not that it might work, we’ll cross our fingers and hope that things fall in place. When you get married you are confident, through good times and bad, I will stand by this person, they will stand by me. (ok, in thinking about this, let me say I’m not sure I can speak for celebrities, I am only talking about regular people, like you and me).
Sometimes when I meet people and they hear I’m divorced and a single mom I get women who will say “oh that won’t be me, we’ve talked about it and we’ll never get divorced” and they smile confidently. Funny, I remember saying the same thing. Was I that smug? Probably. I roll my eyes (on the inside, of course). Yes, it takes TWO to get married and have a good marriage. Heck it even takes TWO for a marriage to be bad, but it only takes ONE to file for divorce.
Divorce doesn't just change your life, it changes you.
Initially I was so depressed I could barely function. Then again I was seven months pregnant and had a 22 month old when my then husband left. I guess that would take the wind out of anyone’s sails now wouldn’t it?
That day I was changed forever.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time”
-Good Riddance by Green Day
I don’t know anyone who gets married expecting to get divorced. I think everyone thinks they are marrying THE ONE. Not that it might work, we’ll cross our fingers and hope that things fall in place. When you get married you are confident, through good times and bad, I will stand by this person, they will stand by me. (ok, in thinking about this, let me say I’m not sure I can speak for celebrities, I am only talking about regular people, like you and me).
Sometimes when I meet people and they hear I’m divorced and a single mom I get women who will say “oh that won’t be me, we’ve talked about it and we’ll never get divorced” and they smile confidently. Funny, I remember saying the same thing. Was I that smug? Probably. I roll my eyes (on the inside, of course). Yes, it takes TWO to get married and have a good marriage. Heck it even takes TWO for a marriage to be bad, but it only takes ONE to file for divorce.
Divorce doesn't just change your life, it changes you.
Initially I was so depressed I could barely function. Then again I was seven months pregnant and had a 22 month old when my then husband left. I guess that would take the wind out of anyone’s sails now wouldn’t it?
That day I was changed forever.
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Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
Marriage is a unity of two person who wishes to walk on the road of life together. It is not merely an impulse of love or lust. Moreover, it is not a road that you can just turn to another junction when problem arise.
I truly pray that there would be a good turning point for you. For that from you experience that you will be able to shine again and help others who had the same incident as you.
Why do people easily divorce these days? There must be an explanation and a solution to it to help reduce the rate of divorce.
Comment by Australis
The Scriptwriting Blog
Personal Blog - A Writer's Life
Our hostess (sorry I have to abbreviate) SMDTM is in a slightly different category. Her ex, frankly, sounds like a selfish prick. "I'm doing this, I'm doing that, I'm moving interstate, I don't care if you come with me". Why the hell did he marry you?
But, as I forcefully had to tell someone once, no one knows what goes on inside a marriage. No one has the right to comment. Until we understand him and his motives a bit better, we might have to not say too much.
But all in all, that's the price of marriage, you have to change. And the reward is the love of a partner and children, making own little way through the world, the threads of their stories weaving into ther fabric of life.
My life can be shitful at times, but Life itself... what a brilliant thing! I hope, SMDTM, that you find this too. And no matter what the ex was like, I bet your glad for the children. There will be trials with them (mine are 19 and 16), but sometimes their company just takes your breath away. Face forward, and don't look back.
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
I guess when it comes to marriage it is really not a "I" issue, it is all "we" issues when two has come together. And the saddest point to read the article, that spouses do forget about the "we" issue or just forgotten the first flame in their hearts when they met their "better half".
Even how much people change Australis, I hope that spouses and partners out there will not forget that first flame. And we cannot accept the fact that because of society pressure these things will eventually happen to one family or another. As long as the society doesn't give in to this "fact of life" there are still chances of humanity in this world.
SMDTM, I am not saying go and beg for him to come back. Perhaps there is something better out there for you, or it is a turning point that it is your show time now to let him know what a lost his decision was to leave you in this state.
Comment by LauraP
Ahmed - I agree. Yet just because someone should do something doesn't mean they will.
Australis - yes, although this was quite a traumatic time for me, in the end it was right. it took me a little while to see that.
Jessicca - you are pretty close in your assessment of my exH, but I am not going to use this journal to criticize him... although it'd be so easy!!!! The truth is, him leaving has freed me. I would have never left. Never. And now I've am thankful I have the chance to start over, despite the hard times.