Roger HarrisUgly Divorce
September 24th 2006 02:40
I know some people who’ve never been divorced think divorces get ugly because the parties hate each other so much. I’m sure some divorces do get ugly because of that.
I’m sure a number of people also have ugly divorces for the same reason I did…. because one party desperately DOES NOT WANT TO DIVORCE. And the other does.
The leaver has probably been planning it for a while. Maybe not exactly when it would happen, but they’ve already been imagining making the break. What life would be like. They’ve mentally thought about their speech. Talked themselves through it. It’s going to be hard, but they will be better off.
The Left-Person is often operating under the mind set that we will work through this. This is a tough time, but I am sticking it out. The Left-Person really doesn’t even think about divorce. I mean, it crosses their mind. But no mental preparation on how they will be better, what they will say. They are WAY behind the leaver in terms of preparation. WAY. Even if everyone else saw it coming, the Left-Person really didn’t want it. Left-Person you think if you want something bad enough, you can MAKE it happen. Seems to work that way in many things…
When you don’t want to divorce you have absolutely no motivation to agree to any terms of the divorce decree. None. No, I don’t agree to that custody arrangement. No I don’t agree to the debt/asset division. Don’t agree to any of it. In fact I don’t f-cking agree to the divorce in the first place, why would any of these details make any sense to me, I mean, the Left-Person.
Of course this makes the Left-Person look completely stubborn and less appealing in the leaver’s eyes.
I’m sure a number of people also have ugly divorces for the same reason I did…. because one party desperately DOES NOT WANT TO DIVORCE. And the other does.
The leaver has probably been planning it for a while. Maybe not exactly when it would happen, but they’ve already been imagining making the break. What life would be like. They’ve mentally thought about their speech. Talked themselves through it. It’s going to be hard, but they will be better off.
The Left-Person is often operating under the mind set that we will work through this. This is a tough time, but I am sticking it out. The Left-Person really doesn’t even think about divorce. I mean, it crosses their mind. But no mental preparation on how they will be better, what they will say. They are WAY behind the leaver in terms of preparation. WAY. Even if everyone else saw it coming, the Left-Person really didn’t want it. Left-Person you think if you want something bad enough, you can MAKE it happen. Seems to work that way in many things…
When you don’t want to divorce you have absolutely no motivation to agree to any terms of the divorce decree. None. No, I don’t agree to that custody arrangement. No I don’t agree to the debt/asset division. Don’t agree to any of it. In fact I don’t f-cking agree to the divorce in the first place, why would any of these details make any sense to me, I mean, the Left-Person.
Of course this makes the Left-Person look completely stubborn and less appealing in the leaver’s eyes.
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